Managing Your Emotions at Work
Controlling Your Feelings... Before They Control You
The way you react to frustrations is down to choice.
Everything can be taken from a
man but the last of human freedoms – the ability to choose one's attitude in a
given set of circumstances, to choose one's way.– Viktor Frankl, "Man's
Search for Meaning."
We've all been in one of
"those" situations before. You know... when your favorite project is
cancelled after weeks of hard work; when a customer snaps at you unfairly; when
your best friend (and co-worker) is laid off suddenly; or your boss assigns you
more work when you're already overloaded.
In your personal life, your
reaction to stressful situations like these might be to start shouting, or to
go hide in a corner and feel sorry for yourself for a while. But at work, these
types of behavior could seriously harm your professional reputation, as well as
your productivity.
Stressful situations are all too
common in a workplace that's facing budget cuts, staff layoffs, and department
changes. It may become harder and harder to manage your emotions under these
circumstances, but it's even more important for you to do so. After all, if
management is forced into making more layoffs, they may choose to keep those
who can handle their emotions, and work well under pressure. As the above quote
shows, no matter what the situation is, you're always free to choose how you
react to it.
So, how can you become better at
handling your emotions, and "choosing" your reactions to bad situations?
In this article, we look at the most common negative emotions experienced in
the workplace – and how you can manage them productively.
Why are we focusing only on
negative emotions? Well, most people don't need strategies for managing their
positive emotions. After all, feelings of joy, excitement, compassion, or
optimism usually don't affect others in a negative way. As long as you share
positive emotions constructively and professionally, they're great to have in
the workplace!
Common Negative Emotions at Work
In 1997, Bond University professor of management Cynthia
Fisher conducted a study called "Emotions
at Work: What Do People Feel, and How Should We Measure It?"
According to Fisher's research, the most common negative
emotions experienced in the workplace are as follows:
- Frustration/irritation.
- Worry/nervousness.
- Anger/aggravation.
- Dislike.
- Disappointment/unhappiness.
From "Emotions
at Work: What Do People Feel and How Should we Measure it?" by
Cynthia D. Fisher. School of Business Discussion Paper; No. 63, February 1997.
© Copyright Cynthia D. Fisher and the School of Business, Bond University.
Below are different strategies
you can use to help you deal with each of these negative emotions.
Frustration/Irritation
Frustration usually occurs when
you feel stuck or trapped, or unable to move forward in some way. It could be
caused by a colleague blocking your favorite project, a boss who is too
disorganized to get to your meeting on time, or simply being on hold on the
phone for a long time.
Whatever the reason, it's
important to deal with feelings of frustration quickly, because they can easily
lead to more negative emotions, such as anger.
Here are some suggestions for
dealing with frustration:
- Stop and evaluate – One of the best
things you can do is mentally stop yourself, and look at the situation.
Ask yourself why you feel frustrated. Write it down, and be specific. Then
think of one positive thing about your current situation. For instance, if
your boss is late for your meeting, then you have more time to prepare.
Or, you could use this time to relax a little.
- Find something positive about the situation –
Thinking about a positive aspect of your situation often makes you look at
things in a different way. This small change in your thinking can improve
your mood. When it's people who are causing your frustration, they're
probably not doing it deliberately to annoy you. And if it's a thing
that's bothering you – well, it's certainly not personal! Don't get mad,
just move on.
- Remember the last time you felt frustrated –
The last time you were frustrated about something, the situation probably
worked out just fine after a while, right? Your feelings of frustration or
irritation probably didn't do much to solve the problem then, which means
they're not doing anything for you right now.
Worry/Nervousness
With all the fear and anxiety
that comes with increasing numbers of layoffs, it's no wonder that many people
worry about their jobs. But this worry can easily get out of control, if you
allow it, and this can impact not only your mental health, but also your
productivity, and your willingness to take risks at work.
Try these tips to deal with
worrying:
- Don't surround yourself with worry and anxiety –
For example, if co-workers gather in the break room to gossip and talk
about job cuts, then don't go there and worry with everyone else. Worrying
tends to lead to more worrying, and that isn't good for anyone.
- Try deep-breathing exercises – This helps
slow your breathing and your heart rate. Breathe in slowly for five
seconds, then breathe out slowly for five seconds. Focus on your
breathing, and nothing else. Do this at least five times. For more on
this, read our article on Physical
Relaxation Techniques
. - Focus on how to improve the situation –
If you fear being laid off, and you sit there and worry, that probably
won't help you keep your job. Instead, why not brainstorm ways to bring in
more business, and show how valuable you are to the company?
- Write down your worries in a worry log –
If you find that worries are churning around inside your mind, write them
down in a notebook or "worry log," and then schedule a time to
deal with them. Before that time, you can forget about these worries,
knowing that you'll deal with them. When it comes to the time you've
scheduled, conduct a proper risk
analysis around these things,
and take whatever actions are necessary to mitigate any risks.
When you're worried and nervous
about something, it can dent your self-confidence. Read our article on Building Self-Confidence to make sure this doesn't
happen. Also, don't let your worries get in the way of being
appropriately assertive .
to make sure this doesn't
happen. Also, don't let your worries get in the way of being
appropriately assertive .
Anger/Aggravation
Out-of-control anger is perhaps
the most destructive emotion that people experience in the workplace. It's also
the emotion that most of us don't handle very well. If you have trouble
managing your temper at work, then learning to control it is one of the best
things you can do if you want to keep your job.
Try these suggestions to control
your anger:
- Watch for early signs of anger – Only you
know the danger signs when anger is building, so learn to recognize them
when they begin. Stopping your anger early is key. Remember, you can
choose how you react in a situation. Just because your first instinct is
to become angry doesn't mean it's the correct response.
- If you start to get angry, stop what you're doing –
Close your eyes, and practice the deep-breathing exercise we described
earlier. This interrupts your angry thoughts, and it helps put you back on
a more positive path.
- Picture yourself when you're angry – If
you imagine how you look and behave while you're angry, it gives you some
perspective on the situation. For instance, if you're about to shout at
your co-worker, imagine how you would look. Is your face red? Are you
waving your arms around? Would you want to work with someone like that?
Probably not.
Dislike
We've probably all had to work
with someone we don't like. But it's important to be professional, no matter
what.
Here are some ideas for working
with people you dislike:
- Be respectful – If you have to work with
someone you don't get along with, then it's time to set aside your pride
and ego. Treat the person with courtesy and respect, as you would treat
anyone else. Just because this person behaves in an unprofessional manner,
that doesn't mean you should as well.
- Be assertive – If the other person is
rude and unprofessional, then firmly explain that you refuse to be treated
that way, and calmly leave the situation. Remember, set the example.
Disappointment/Unhappiness
Dealing with disappointment or
unhappiness at work can be difficult. Of all the emotions you might feel at
work, these are the most likely to impact your productivity. If you've just
suffered a major disappointment, your energy will probably be low, you might be
afraid to take another risk, and all of that may hold you back from achieving.
Here are some proactive steps you
can take to cope with disappointment and unhappiness:
- Look at your mindset – Take a moment to
realize that things won't always go your way. If they did, life would be a
straight road instead of one with hills and valleys, ups and downs, right?
And it's the hills and valleys that often make life so interesting.
- Adjust your goal – If you're disappointed
that you didn't reach a goal, that doesn't mean the goal is no longer
reachable. Keep the goal, but make a small change – for example, delay the
deadline.
- Record your thoughts – Write down exactly
what is making you unhappy. Is it a co-worker? Is it your job? Do you have
too much to do? Once you identify the problem, start brainstorming ways to
solve it or work around it. Remember, you always have the power to change
your situation.
- Smile! – Strange as it may sound, forcing
a smile – or even a grimace – onto your face can often make you feel happy
(this is one of the strange ways in which we humans are
"wired.") Try it – you may be surprised!
Posted by : Mind Tool
MANAGING YOUR EMOTION AT WORK
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Selasa, 30 Agustus 2016